Monday, December 7, 2020

TheList 5542

The List 5542     TGB

To All,

Good Monday afternoon December 7. A bit more.

Regards

Skip.

This day in Naval History

Dec. 7

Hand SALUTE!!!!!

 

USNA-At-Large:

 

2020 Presidential Proclamation – Pearl Harbor Day

 

Lest we forget

 

Roger Barnett

 

Ed:  Proclamation attached

 

3

Proclamation on National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, 2020 | The White House 12/7/20, 10:53 AM https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/proclamation-national-pearl-harbor-remembrance-day-2020/ Page 1 of 3 Proclamation on National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, 2020 December 4, 2020 On the morning of December 7, 1941, Imperial Japanese forces ambushed the Naval Station Pearl Harbor on the Hawaiian island of Oahu. Tragically, 2,403 Americans perished during the attack, including 68 civilians. On this National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, we solemnly honor and uphold the memory of the patriots who lost their lives that day — "a date which will live in infamy" — and we reflect on the courage of all those who served our Nation with honor in the Second World War. Seventy nine years ago, Imperial Japan launched an unprovoked and devastating attack on our Nation. As torpedo bombers unleashed their deadly cargo on our ships and attack aircraft rained bombs from above, brave members of the United States Navy, Marines, Army, and Army Air Forces mounted a heroic defense, manning their battle stations and returning fire through the smoke and chaos. The profound bravery in the American resistance surprised Japanese aircrews and inspired selfless sacrifice among our service members. In one instance, Machinist's Mate First Class Robert R. Scott, among 15 Sailors awarded the Medal of Honor for acts of valor on that day, refused to leave his flooding battle station within the depths of the USS CALIFORNIA, declaring to the world: "This is my station and I will stay and give them air as long as the guns are going." Forever enshrined in our history, the attack on Pearl Harbor shocked all Americans and galvanized our Nation to fight and defeat the Axis powers of Japan, Germany, and Italy. As Americans, we promise never to forget our fallen compatriots who fought so valiantly during World War II. As a Proclamation on National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, 2020 | The White House 12/7/20, 10:53 AM https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/proclamation-national-pearl-harbor-remembrance-day-2020/ Page 2 of 3 testament to their memory, more than a million people visit the site of the USS ARIZONA Memorial each year to pay their respects to the Sailors entombed within its wreckage and to all who perished that day. Despite facing tremendous adversity, the Pacific Fleet, whose homeport remains at Pearl Harbor to this day, is stronger than ever before, upholding the legacy of all those who gave their lives nearly 80 years ago. On this National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, we recall the phrase "Remember Pearl Harbor," which stirred the fighting spirit within the hearts of the more than 16 million Americans who courageously served in World War II. Over 400,000 gave their lives in the global conflict that began, for our Nation, on that fateful Sunday morning. Today, we memorialize all those lost on December 7, 1941, declare once again that our Nation will never forget these valiant heroes, and resolve as firmly as ever that their memory and spirit will survive for as long as our Nation endures. The Congress, by Public Law 103-308, as amended, has designated December 7 of each year as "National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day." NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim December 7, 2020, as National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day. I encourage all Americans to observe this solemn day of remembrance and to honor our military, past and present, with appropriate ceremonies and activities. I urge all Federal agencies and interested organizations, groups, and individuals to fly the flag of the United States at half-staff in honor of those American patriots who died as a result of their service at Pearl Harbor. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fourth day of December, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty- Proclamation on National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, 2020 | The White House 12/7/20, 10:53 AM https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/proclamation-national-pearl-harbor-remembrance-day-2020/ Page 3 of 3 fifth.

 

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Thanks to Mike

This has been around before but it is always good to take a refresher course every so often!

Cheers

Hi Handsome!


The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.  I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.


She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose.. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze..


'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'


'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.


'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.


Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she
leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you
what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, 'We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.  We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even  know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..'  She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

'Good friends are like stars..... ......You don't always see them, but you know they are always
there.'

 

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Thanks to Micro and Steve

The Cubi Special……Just ask Ester at the Cubi Pool With maybe a Hot dog or three…

Then watch the Monkeys when one gets locked in the dumpster……Skip

Just in time for the holidays (via Steve Letter):

 

The  "CUBI Special" Cocktail*:

 

              * Mix 96 ounces orange juice

              * 84 ounces pineapple  juice

              * 6 ounces mango juice

              * 6 ounces cranberry juice     

              * 2-4 ounces grenadine        

              * Rum to taste. Lots of Rum.

              * Add a hand full of sliced  local miniature limes, aka "calamonsines"

 

*'Though a great drink at any time, it especially  enhances the festive spirit of the "Mongolian Barbecue": luscious viands of  diverse meats, with exotic veggies and sauces, grilled on flats of  metal..., usually prepared by Filipino cooks at the  once great naval clubs around the world, waylaid by Nuevo policies of the  correct!        

 

If  mixing in trash cans or other bulk containers for landing parties of varying  size and composition, proportions may be estimated at:

 

*            16 parts orange juice, 

*            14 parts pineapple juice, 

*            1 part mango juice,  

*            1 part cranberry juice,  

*            1/2 part grenadine.

*            Lots of Rum; (between 10 and 15 parts)           

 

If a quick fix is  required, i.e., in a moving Duty Sedan, an approximation can be made with:

 

*            2  parts orange juice to 

*            one part cranberry juice and Rum.

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Thanks to Al

Monday Morning Humor--18 Days 'Til Christmas

Oh no another virus—the Advent Virus…..

     Be on the alert for symptoms of hope, peace, joy and love.  The hearts of a great many persons have already been exposed to the Advent Virus, and it is possible that people everywhere could become contaminated.  This could become an epidemic if not checked quickly.  It would pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict and distrust in the church and world.

     Some signs and symptoms of the Advent Virus:

·        A tendency to think and act with others in mind;

·        An unmistakable ability to enjoy the present moment;

·        A loss of interest in judging or condemning other people;

·        A loss of interest in conflict and arguing;

·        A loss of the ability to worry (a very serious symptom!);

·        Frequent, inexplicable episodes of appreciation;

·        Frequent feelings of connectedness with others;

·        Frequent attacks of smiling and/or humming;

·        An inexplicable sense of contentedness;

·        A peculiar loss of self-centeredness;

·        A tendency to let go of control and allow things to happen;

·        A tendency to read the Bible and pray;

·        An increasing susceptibility to friendliness in others, and

·        An uncontrollable urge to share it with others.

     Be on the Alert!  The Advent Virus is highly contagious!  Some suggestions to avoid a download into your system (soul):

·        Stay away from people who believe in God;

·        Keep your mind closed to new spiritual messages;

·        Focus on your self-serving priorities;

·        Find excuses to avoid worship and praise of God;

·        Do not open messages that speak of:

o   Forgiveness,

o   Reconciliation,

o   Peace,

o   Joy,

o   Faith,

o   Hope,

o   Love.

     Pass this warning on immediately!  For many, it is already too late,

And their systems have been wiped clean by it.

 

 

Holiday puns:

·         Santa Claus slides down the chimney because it soots him.

·         One young boy calls him Santa Cause because he heard there was Noel.

·         Helpers at the North Pole are called subordinate clauses.

·         You really need to get spruced up to sell Christmas trees.

·         At this time of year, crossing a setter and a pointer gives you a pointsetter.

·         Santa only swims at the North Pool.

·         The Pole Vault is where Santa keeps all the presents.

 

 

Christmas groaners…

What do they call Santa's helpers?     Subordinate Clauses

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?     Rude"olph

What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?     Santa Claus-trophbia

What nationality is Santa Claus?     North Polish

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?     Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?     Ribbonhood

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?     Because he had low elf esteem.

 

 

You might be...

An engineer if you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.

A car racing fan if your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1s and Pauter rods and your "significant other" knows what they are.

A man if Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

 

 

Submitted by Alan Krause Jr.:

 

Dear Santa,

     I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

     Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

     Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

     Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

 

 

Submitted by Allan Anderson:

 

     A blonde woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.  She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

     The clerk says, "What denomination?"

     The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.

 

 

Submitted by Skip Leonard:

 

     Captain Hawley, the interstellar trader, was mad. Madder than her humanoid crew had ever seen her. In all her years of trading, nothing like this had ever happened before. First, the hypercold storage on deck nine had failed allowing the swine destined for the miners on Deneeb III to emerge from cold sleep. The little porkers were eating her out of house and starship.

     Second, she had promised her young nephew a Ferdinand Feghoot doll from Earth. Unfortunately, Hawley had arrived on Earth during Winter Solstice, the peak of the shopping season. She had beamed down to mall after mall with no success. The clerks had ignored her or treated her with utter disdain.

     Starship captains do not make promises lightly, and Hawley was not happy at the prospect of disappointing her favorite nephew. What could Hawley do to punish these rotten mall owners for employing nasty clerks? And how could she dispose of her swine?

     "I have it," Hawley exclaimed. Turning to her Transporter Engineer, she asked, "Can the teleport mechanism be modified to handle one million female pigs?"

     Captain Hawley motioned the perplexed engineer closer and whispered into his center ear. Two of his eyes widened with horror at what she was suggesting while the other two narrowed in gleeful anticipation of a cosmic joke.

     As the Transporter Engineer strode purposefully from the bridge, he could be heard singing, "Wreck the Malls with Sows of Hawley..."

 

 

Submitted by Mark Logan:

 

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

Paranoid --- Santa Claus Is Coming to Town to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent Night, holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle…

 

 

 

     The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious constitutional reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

     There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.

 

 

     Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

     The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

     "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

     The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

     Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates."

     The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

     St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

     The man replied, "They're Carol's."

 

 

     When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked.

     "Yes, "Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."

     "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"

     "At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

 

 

Submitted by Matthew Krause:

 

If Santa answered his mail honestly...

 

Dear Santa

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa

 

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's dating the babysitter. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your mom? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa

 

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid Francis, nowadays? I bet you're weird. Santa

 

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

I'm lactose intolerant and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa

 

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time playing Texas Hold "Em. I unwind by drinking while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa

 

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney begging act may work with your folks, but it doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa

 

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself Marky, that's why you're getting beat up at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent project. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa

 

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? (ha-ha ) Santa

 

 Have a great week,

Al

 

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Here's a great tale for The List

Dog

Sent from my iPhone

The Lone Ranger Story...😉🌴🌴🌴

 

 



The Lone Ranger Story

Jay Thomas tells his classic Lone Ranger Story on the Late Show with David Letterman that confirms what an outstanding actor Clayton Moore was.

 

 

 

 

 

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World News for 7 December thanks to Military Periscope. Please see Attachment

 

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