Tuesday, June 22, 2021

TheList 5754

The List 5754

 

Good Tuesday Morning 22 June

 

Greetings from near Flat Head Lake in Montana. The day has dawned clear and cool on this beautiful morning but it is going to heat up. I am up early with the two dogs and can't wait to see more of the area. It was still light out at close to 11 last night. Long days way up here.

I hope that your week is off to a good start.

Regards

skip

 

This Day in Naval History

June 22

 

On This Day

1807

Frigate USS Chesapeake, commanded by James Barron, is stopped by British frigate HMS Leopard after killing several of her crew and take Royal Navy deserters. Barron is court-martialed for not having his ship prepared to fight.

1884

USS Thetis, USS Alert, and USS Bear, under Cmdr. Winfield S. Schley, rescue Lt. Adolphus W. Greely and six of his exploring party from Cape Sabine, where they are marooned for three years.

1898

During the Spanish-American War, the Spanish destroyer Terror joins Isabel II in an attempt to torpedo USS Saint Paul, which fires at Terror, damaging the ship.

1943

USS Monaghan (DD 354) attacks the Japanese submarine (I 7) 10 miles south of Cape Hita. (I 7) runs aground, becoming irreparably damaged, 12 miles south-southeast of Kiska, Aleutian Islands.

1963

The nuclear-powered submarines USS Tecumseh (SSBN 628), USS Daniel Boone (SSBN 629), USS Flasher (SSN 613), and USS John Calhoun (SSBN 630) are all launched in one day, emphasizing the Navys accelerated nuclear-submarine construction program.

 

Thanks to CHINFO

 

Executive Summary:

•           Multiple outlets reported on Russian military operations ivo Hawaii.

•           USNI News highlighted falsified ship tracking data in the Black Sea as new disinformation tactic.

•           National and international outlets reported on The new elect President of Iran, following his first public remarks.

 

 

 

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1377 Richard II, who is still a child, begins his reign, following the death of his grandfather, Edward III. His coronation takes place July 16.

1558 The French take the French town of Thionville from the English.

1772 Slavery is outlawed in England.

1807 British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation leading to the War of 1812.

1864 Confederate General A. P. Hill turns back a Federal flanking movement at the Weldon Railroad near Petersburg, Virginia.

1876 General Alfred Terry sends Lieutenant Colonel George A. Custer to the Rosebud and Little Bighorn rivers to search for Indian villages.

1910 German bacteriologist Paul Ehrlich announces a definitive cure for syphilis.

1911 King George V of England is crowned.

1915 Austro-German forces occupy Lemberg on the Eastern Front as the Russians retreat.

1925 France and Spain agree to join forces against Abd el Krim in Morocco.

1930 A son is born to Charles and Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

1933 Adolf Hitler bans political parties in Germany other than the Nazis.

1938 Joe Louis floors Max Schmeling in the first round of the heavyweight bout at Yankee Stadium.

1940 France and Germany sign an armistice at Compiegne, on terms dictated by the Nazis.

1941 Under the code-name Barbarossa, Germany invades the Soviet Union.

1942 A Japanese submarine shells Fort Stevens at the mouth of the Columbia River.

1944 President Franklin Roosevelt signs the "GI Bill of Rights" to provide broad benefits for veterans of the war.

1956 The battle for Algiers begins as three buildings in The Casbah are blown up.

1970 President Richard Nixon signs the 26th amendment, lowering the voting age to 18.

1973 Skylab astronauts splash down safely in the Pacific after a record 28 days in space.

1980 The Soviet Union announces a partial withdrawal of its forces from Afghanistan.

1981 Mark David Chapman pleads guilty to killing John Lennon.

1995 Nigeria's former military ruler Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo and his chief deputy are charged with conspiracy to overthrow Gen. Sani Abacha's military government.

 

 

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ROLLING THUNDER REMEMBERED Thanks to the Bear

LOOKING BACK 55-YEARS to the Vietnam Air War— ... … For The List for Tuesday, 22 June 2021… Bear🇺🇸⚓️🐻

 

OPERATION ROLLING THUNDER (1965-1968)

From the archives of rollingthunderremembered.com post for 22 June 1966… "Is there an American Goal?"….

 

https://www.rollingthunderremembered.com/rolling-thunder-remembered-22-june-1966-the-american-dream/

 

This following work accounts for every fixed wing loss of the Vietnam War and you can use it to read more about the losses in The Bear's Daily account. Even better it allows you to add your updated information to the work to update for history…skip

 

Vietnam Air Losses

Access Chris Hobson and Dave Lovelady's work at:  https://www.VietnamAirLosses.com.

 

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Thanks to Bill

Interesting story about restored B-29.

https://mortefontainevillage.pagesperso-orange.fr/marcbrecy/b29.html

 

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Thanks to DR  and Rich

 

Date: Mon, Jun 21, 2021 at 8:01 PM

Subject: As the World (and stomach) turns

 

Hi to all - 

 

Sesame Street

 

A first for this children's show - they featured a couple of gay men, 'married' to each other, and a pre-teen daughter, who is said to be 'transitioning'.  This is deemed suitable for entertainment of children.  And, their education.  Now, my next door neighbors are a male gay couple.  There is a female gay couple down the block.  They do what they want, bother no one else, and no one bothers them.  But, neither of these 'couples' hosts a day care center for children.  Nor should they.

 

Jake Sullivan

 

He is a spokesperson for the Biden White House.  He said that they will not pursue China to explain the Wuhan lab story of the virus, but will rather depend on our intelligence agencies and WHO for information.  Can you say 'payoff' boys and girls?  Sure you can.

 

Philadelphia, Penn.

 

The city was hosting a big food event, called 'A taste of home', featuring cuisine from all over the world by local restaurants.  Someone noticed a man named Moshava was offering Israeli fare, and complained about having a Jewish representative in the City of Brotherly Love.  So, the city uninvited this man and his food offerings, fearing protests.  Well, this made the news, and the protests came anyway - in favor of Moshava.  In the end, the city just cancelled the whole thing.

 

Florida

 

A 20 year old man, Alexander Jerich, who had a Trump flag displayed on the back of his pick up truck, took offense at the 'gay pride' street crossing of rainbow colors, and so he did a burnout over it, leaving black tire marks.  He was arrested, fined, and charged with a third degree felony for this crime, by the City of Delray Beach.  Can you lisp 'better not do that'?

 

Texas

 

Governor Greg Abbot carried out his threat to democrats who staged a walkout, rather than vote on a voting integrity bill.  He defunded their paychecks.  He said, if you do not do your job, you do not get paid.  They called him a dictator, for not allowing them to run over the state, if they can't get their way.

 

Meghan McCain

 

She was on The View, that show that focuses on Truth, Justice and the American way.  The Catholic Church is considering denying communion to Catholics who support abortion, which includes Biden - who has made abortion a part of public policy, and wants taxpayers to pay for it.  She described such support as a 'Cardinal Sin', and also said that 'abortion is murder' - and Biden has given government sanction to that murder.  Well, you can just guess how the liberal ladies of The View responded to that!  And Twitter is abuzz with comments.

 

Monmouth University

 

They did a big poll, and discovered that 80% of Americans favor voter ID.  Lesser numbers for early voting, and other issues.  Perhaps this is why Stacey and others are suddenly in favor of voter ID.

 

China

 

The China Academy of Science just awarded Wuhan Labs the 'Outstanding Science and Technical Achievement" award for discovering and identifying the pathogen that caused the Covid virus.  Wow - all that US funded research really paid off, didn't it?

 

Houston, Texas

 

An unnamed man did a violent home invasion of the home of a deputy sheriff.  The intruder was armed with both a rifle and shotgun, and a shootout followed.  The deputy was not harmed, but his wife and four year old were both wounded, slightly.  Police are following the blood trail that the intruder left, and they plan to catch him, Texas style.

 

Nellis AFB

 

Well, entertaining the troops has changed from the days of Bob Hope.  Now, they feature a drag queen show, suitable for the district in San Francisco.  Not really suitable for the men and women of the Air Force.

 

Chicago

 

Last weekend, 54 shot.  Several mass shootings during the week.  Several fatalities.  Last year, 2020, there were 521 shootings in that city.  So far, in half of 2021, there have been 743.  But, Lori is sure it is for any reason other than her hatred of police.

 

Nearly all shooters, and victims, were black.  Like Lori, herself.  But, she cares about her own people, just ask her.  And, almost none of the shootings involved an AR-15.  Most involved handguns - supposedly illegal for kids to own in her city.

 

There was a Puerto Rican Day parade, which got out of hand.  One parade car bumped a parked car, and locals (who were nearly all black, in the video) pulled the people out of the car, and shot them down in the streets

 

You know, we have studies showing that most of this gun crime in the big cities is tied to gangs.  When police take down the gang members (and they usually know who they are), gun crime drops at least 25% instantly.  So, curious people ask, why do local governments not take down the gangs?

 

Well, it is simple, really.  When things get bad enough, the public will scream "Make it stop !", and then, the same governments that created these problems will offer up a solution - give them more power.  Let them do no-knock entry into the homes of legal gun owners, and take away their weapons.  Etc.  Biden is set to make a speech to this very topic in days.  Watch carefully what he says.  See if anyone but the government will benefit from his solutions.

 

By the way, Lori Lightfoot 'diverted' $10 million of Covid Relief money to study what she sees as the real problem, not your health or well being.  Yep, she will use your tax money to study, and fight, 'racism'.

 

Oakland

 

Did you see the video of when an ambulance came to help victims of a gun battle?  The paramedics were interfered with by street people dancing all around the ambulance, twerking on it, and glad to see the violence.  We are not far from total street violence.

 

Indiana University

 

The school, ignoring 'the science' , is requiring all students to take the vaccine.  Some have hired lawyers, and are suing the university for the unconstitutional act of demanding that low risk students take an experimental, non-approved vaccine, with known serious side effects.  This is one to watch - it will be a key to how things operate in the future.

 

Wow - a busy weekend, to be sure.

 

Rich

 

 

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Thanks to Admiral Cox and NHHC

H-Gram 049: The Naval Battle of Okinawa—Victory

18 June 2020 

Contents

Victory at Okinawa

Lieutenant Commander George L. Street's Medal of Honor

75th Anniversary of World War II

This H-gram covers the Naval Battle of Okinawa from early June 1945, including the last two mass kamikaze attacks, Kikusui No. 9 and 10, through the end of the battle in late June. It also covers the Medal for Honor awards to Lieutenant Richard McCool, skipper of LCS(L)-122, and Lieutenant Commander George Street, skipper of submarine Tirante (SS-420)

Victory at Okinawa

The protracted and bloody Battle of Okinawa reached its final phase at the end of May 1945, as U.S. Marines captured the strategic point of Shuri Castle. However, the Japanese executed one more unexpected, well-ordered retreat to yet one more prepared line of defense at the southern end of Okinawa. The remainder of Japanese navy personnel on the island (from the naval base at Naha) retreated to the Oroku Peninsula, which the Marines cut off and then assaulted from the sea. U.S. Army units went head-to-head with the Japanese army, which now had no more room to retreat except into the sea. The Japanese navy units put up determined resistance, resulting in over 2,600 Marines dead and wounded, but in the end almost all the Japanese personnel were killed or committed suicide, including Rear Admiral Minoru Ota, commander of the Japanese naval forces on Okinawa. The weather turned foul, turning the battlefield into muck and mire for the last three weeks of some of the most vicious fighting in the entire campaign.

With the passage of Typhoon Viper (see H-gram 048), Japanese kamikaze attacks on U.S. and British naval forces resumed with mass kamikaze attack Kikusui No. 9, consisting of only 50 kamikaze aircraft, as suitable planes and pilots became increasingly hard to come by (although part of this was because the Japanese were husbanding and hiding large numbers of aircraft for the anticipated U.S. invasion of Japan).  Kikusui No. 9 was strung out from 3–7 June 1945 and accomplished relatively little.

On 6 June 1945, the destroyer minelayers J. William Ditter (DM-31) and Harry F. Bauer (DM-26) came under concerted kamikaze attack but shot down several kamikazes before J. William Ditter was badly damaged and Harry F. Bauer took a near miss, or so they thought. Harry F. Bauer was one of the lucky ships of the Okinawa campaign, having shot down 13 Japanese aircraft and being hit by a torpedo that didn't explode. As the damage on Harry F. Bauer was subsequently surveyed, it was discovered that she had been steaming for 17 days with an unexploded (but live, "three threads" from detonating) 550-pound bomb in one of her fuel tanks that had been released at the last second by the plane that almost hit her. The bomb was successfully de-armed. Harry F. Bauer was awarded a Presidential Unit Citation for her numerous actions during the Okinawa campaign.

The destroyer William D. Porter (DD-579) was not so lucky. She had already acquired notoriety for having accidentally fired a live torpedo at the battleship Iowa (BB-61), aboard which was President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, CNO Fleet Admiral Ernest J. King, and most of the Joint Chiefs on their way to Allied conferences in Cairo and Tehran in 1943. Fortunately, Iowa had sufficient warning to avoid the torpedo. Subsequently, the story was told that when William D. Porter went into port or met other ships, she would be greeted with the signal "Don't shoot. We're Republicans."  She also became the subject of other stories of dubious veracity. However, on 10 June 1945, she shot down a kamikaze that crashed close aboard. Unfortunately, the plane's bomb detonated directly under the ship, which killed no one but inflicted mortal damage.

One of the vessels that assisted the stricken destroyer was LCS(L)-122, which was hit and badly damaged on the following day by a kamikaze. Her skipper, Lieutenant Richard McCool, was awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions in saving his ship and is the namesake for the latest San Antonio–class amphibious transport, dock (LPD-29).

Even less lucky than William D. Porter was the destroyer Twiggs (DD-591) on 16 June, hit first by a torpedo and then by the plane that dropped it. Her forward magazine blew first and then her after magazine, and she went down with heavy loss of life (152 crewmen, including the commanding officer, Commander George Philip, who was awarded a posthumous Navy Cross). She was the last destroyer to be sunk before Japanese resistance on Okinawa ended.

On 18 June, the commander of U.S. forces ashore on Okinawa, U.S. Army Lieutenant General Simon Bolivar Buckner, was killed by Japanese artillery—only three days before the end of organized Japanese resistance. Although it was obvious that Okinawa was lost, the Japanese launched one last massed kamikaze attack, Kikusui No. 10, consisting of only 45 kamikaze aircraft, on 21–22 June 1945. These attacks sank LSM-59 and Barry (APD-29), a fast transport previously badly damaged by kamikazes, stripped of anything valuable, decommissioned, and intended for use as a kamikaze decoy. A kamikaze also seriously damaged the Pearl Harbor–veteran seaplane tender Curtiss (AV-4) in the Kerama Retto anchorage. (Of note, famous actor Henry Fonda served aboard Curtiss as a combat intelligence officer, giving up the equivalent of a multimillion-dollar Hollywood income.)

On 22 June, LST-534 was hit by a kamikaze while she was beached. Technically, she sank, but she didn't go very far and would be raised, making LSM-59 the last commissioned ship sunk before the end of Japanese resistance on Okinawa.

In the meantime, Japanese frustrations with that country's Kaiten submarines continued in late June. I-36 survived multiple close calls, and a sacrificial launch of two Kaiten-manned suicide torpedoes probably saved her, but she achieved no hits on her mission. I-165 was even less lucky and was sunk with all hands on 27 June 1945 by a U.S. Navy PV-2 Harpoon aircraft.

By 22 June 1945, the commander of Japanese forces on Okinawa, Lieutenant General Mitsuru Ushijima, had committed suicide, and the enormously costly battle of Okinawa was officially over. Kamikaze attacks went into a lull until late July as both sides prepared for the invasion of Japan. 

For more detail on the last three weeks of the Naval Battle of Okinawa, please see attachment H-049-1. 

Lieutenant Commander George L. Street's Medal of Honor

On 14 April 1945, Lieutenant Commander George Street, on the first war patrol of Tirante (and his first war patrol in command of a submarine) boldly took Tirante into a harbor on the Korean Island of Jeju-do for a night surface attack on a small convoy (one transport and three escorts) at anchor. Street achieved surprise and sank the transport Juzan Maru. Illuminated by the explosions and fire of the transport, Tirante was pursued by the three Japanese escorts as she attempted to escape. Tirante then torpedoed and sank the escort ship Nomi, which blew up in a catastrophic explosion with heavy loss of life, and then torpedoed and sank escort ship CD-31. After reaching deep water, Tirante then survived a depth charge attack from the remaining escort. Street was awarded a Medal of Honor, and his Executive Officer, Lieutenant Edward L. "Ned" Beach, received a Navy Cross. Tirante was awarded a Presidential Unit Citation.

On 12 June 1945, during Tirante's second war patrol, Lieutenant Commander Street took Tirante into the harbor of Hashima, only seven miles from Nagasaki,  and sank the large merchant ship Hakuju Maru. He was awarded a Navy Cross for this exploit. For more on Lieutenant Commander Street and the Tirante, please see attachment H-049-1.

For more on the background for the invasion of Okinawa, please see H-Gram 044 and attachment H-044-1. See also H-grams 045046, and 048 for the Naval Battle of Okinawa in March through June 1945.

Sources for this H-gram include Naval History and Heritage Command Dictionary of American Naval Fighting Ships (DANFS) for U.S. ships and "Combined Fleet of the Imperial Japanese Navy" (http://combinedfleet.com) for Japanese ships. Additional sources are: History of United States Naval Operations in World War II, vol. 14, Victory in the Pacific, by Samuel Eliot Morison (Little, Brown and Co., 1960); Kamikaze: To Die for the Emperor, by Peter C. Smith (Pen and Sword Aviation, 2014); The Twilight Warriors, by Robert Gandt (Broadway Books, 2010); Kamikaze Attacks of World War II: A Complete History of Japanese Suicide Strikes on American Ships by Aircraft and Other Means, by Robin L. Reilly (McFarland & Company, 2010);  Desperate Sunset: Japan's Kamikazes Against Allied Ships, 1944–45, by Mike Yeo (Osprey, 2019); Anti-Suicide Action Summary, August 1945," COMINCH Document P-0011, 31 August 1945; The Fleet at Flood Tide: America at Total War in the Pacific 1944­–1945, by James D. Hornfisher (Bantam, 2016); Combined Fleet Decoded: The Secret History of American Intelligence and the Japanese Navy in World War II, by John Prados (Random House, 1995);  U.S. Navy Codebreakers, Linguists, and Intelligence Officers Against Japan, 1910–1941, by Steve E. Maffeo (Roman and Littlefield, 2016); Information at Sea: Shipboard Command and Control in the U.S. Navy from Mobile Bay to Okinawa, by Timothy S. Wolters (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2013); Hell to Pay: Operation Downfall and the Invasion of Japan, 1945–1947, by D. M. Giangreco (Naval Institute Press, 2009); "Who Sank Destroyer DREXLER?" by Bill Gordon (kamikazeimages.net, May 2006).

 

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AMERICAN AEROSPACE EVENTS for June 22

FIRSTS, LASTS, AND SIGNIFICANT ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR June 22

THANKS TO HAROLD "PHIL" MYERS CHIEF HISTORIAN AIR FORCE INTELLIGENCE, SURVEILLANCE, AND RECONNAISSANCE AGENCY

1909: Wykoff, Church, and Partridge, a New York automobile sales concern, established America's airplane sales agency. (24)

1915: FIRST AERIAL FOREST PATROL. Jack Vilas flew Wisconsin State Forester E. M. Griffith over a forest fire. (24)

1924: At Anacostia, Lts F.W. Wead and J.D. Price flew a Curtiss CS-2 with a Wright T-3 Tornado engine to five world seaplane records: distance, 963 miles; duration, 13 hours 23 minutes 15 seconds; and speed, 73.41 MPH for 500 kilometers, 74.27 MPH for 1,000, and 74.17 MPH for 1,500 kilometers.

1943: Eighth Air Force bombed Germany's Ruhr industrial area for the first time, hitting the chemical works and synthetic rubber at Huls so severely that it could not resume full production for six months. (21)

1944: The 318 FG, Seventh Air Force, pioneered the use of napalm fire bombs during the 22-29 June fight for Saipan. (17) Operation FRANTIC. After the second FRANTIC raid, the Luftwaffe attacked the B-17s at Poltava, destroying 47 and damaging 19 more. (21)

1946: Two US AAF P-80s left Schenectady, N.Y., for Washington DC and Chicago to make the first airmail deliveries by jet. (24)

1951: The Martin P5M Marlin Flying Boat first flew.

1954: Company pilot Robert Rahn flew the Douglas A4D (A-4) Skyhawk for the first time at Edwards AFB. (20) 1956: Operation SIXTEEN TON. Through 15 September, the AFRES demonstrated its ability to carry out sustained operations for the first time. During the mission, Reserve aircrews flew 164 sorties to airlift 856,715 pounds of cargo to support long-range navigation stations for aircraft and vessels in the Caribbean. The mission fell under the operational control of Reserve airlift units from the CONAC's First, Tenth and Fourteenth Air Forces. Ultimately, 12 of the 13 Reserve C-46 and C-119 airlift wings participated. Daily, one to four aircraft left New York NAS for Miami IAP, Fla., where the 2585th Air Reserve Flying Center operated the traffic control center. From Miami, the planes either went to San Juan, Puerto Rico, or San Salvador Air Force Base, Bahamas. (AFRES News Service, 22 Jun 96)

1959: First operational Thor unit transferred to the 77 RAF SMS. (6)

1960: The Navy Research Laboratory launched the Transit II-A navigational satellite on a Thor-Able-Star with a GREB (Galactic Radiation and Beta) "piggyback" satellite. This was the first twin satellite launch. (24) A Thor missile completed its first confidence firing at Vandenberg AFB. (6)

1965: The initial F-X briefing called for a small, low cost, high performance aircraft capable of visual air-to-ground and air-to-air missions with an initial operating capability in the early 1970s. (30)

1967: The last naval transport squadron mission under the operational control of MAC took place. The mission marked the end of 19 years participation in the MATS and MAC by the Navy.

1980: Through 8 July, after a Vietnamese incursion into Thailand, the U. S. accelerated a shipment of military items to Thailand. MAC C-141s flew six short-notice missions from several US locations to deliver 127.8 tons of weapons and munitions to Bangkok. (18)

1982: After passing its Operational Readiness Inspection, the 50 TFW's 313 TFS became the first F-16 operationally ready squadron in USAFE. (4) The first KC-135R (number 61-0293) reengined with CFM-56 engines rolled out of the Boeing plant in Wichita, Kans. (1)

1983: The Air Force extended the B-1B test program to include ALCM carriage capability testing. (3)

1990: Northrop unveiled its twin-tail, twin-engined YF-23 Advanced Tactical Fighter in ceremonies at the Advanced Tactical Fighter Combined Test Force Facility at Edwards AFB. (20)

1994: Through 30 June, AMC dispatched 2 C-5s and 2 C-141s to move 50 armored vehicles from Rhein-Main AB to Entebbe Airport in Kampala, Uganda, for UN forces deploying to Rwanda. Another 3 C-141s airlifted a Tanker Airlift Control Element, equipment, and cargo for the operation. (16) (18)

1995: Air Force and Navy officials announced the purchase of a new aircraft trainer, the Beech Mk II, for the Joint Aircraft Training System (JPATS). Each service planned to procure 300 aircraft. The Air Force planned to use the new aircraft to replace its aging T-37s. (16)

2002. A 116 BW aircrew, Georgia ANG, flew the wing's last scheduled B-1 training flight. On 1 October 2002, the unit became the 116 ACW to fly E-8C Joint STARS (Surveillance Target Attack Radar System) missions. (32)

 

 

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Punday Morning Humor Thanks to Al

 

Submitted by Alan Krause Jr:

 

     Just read about a feudal uprising where a duke's son was killed by rebels. 

     They used a trebuchet to knock him off the battlements with the only available ordnance:  a peasant's decapitated head.

     It was the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.

 

 

 

Submitted by Colleen Grosso:

 

How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side

     How do you make holy water?

     You boil the hell out of it

Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen

     What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

     One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu - you get what you deserve

     I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

A maybe

     I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

     I lost my case

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

     A cross-eyed teacher couldn't control his pupils

She had a photographic memory but never developed it

     Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?

     I don't know and don't really care

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

     My ex-wife still misses me.  But her aim is starting to improve

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

     I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought:  "That's the last thing I need!"

Need an ark? I Noah guy

     I used to think I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

     What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

     Nothing - but it let out a little whine

 

 

 

Submitted by Dave Harris:

 

     Two bowling pins were sitting in the marriage counselor's off arguing.

     "His mind's always in the gutter."

     "Oh, spare me."

     This resulted in the 7-10 split.

 

 

 

Submitted by Mark Logan:

 

More signs from the Indian Hills Community Center:

The girl in the middle of the tennis court is Annette.

I'm going to start collecting highlighters…mark my words!

I never finish anything; I have a black belt in partial arts.

Nothing tops a plain pizza!

Water is heavier that butane because butane is a lighter fluid.

Lego store reopens after lockdown.  Folks line up for blocks.

When you teach a wolf to meditate, he becomes aware wolf.

I'm reading a book called "Quick Money for Dummies" by Robin Banks.

I pulled a muscle digging for gold—just a miner injury.

Cosmetology student misses class—forced to make up makeup test!

If you have to wear both mask and glasses, you may be entitles to condensation.

What do you call a hippies' wife?  Mississippi.

Fungi puns ar my yeast favorite; there's too mushroom for error.

When you said life would get back to normal after June…Julyed.

Be careful when you eat at Sam & Ella's Diner.

My son wants to study burrowing rodents.  I told him to gopher it.

Ghosts like to ride in elevators because it lifts their spirits.

 

 

 

Submitted by Skip Leonard:

 

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work .

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

I renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing."

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu - you get what you deserve

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

A cross-eyed teacher couldn't control his pupils

She had a photographic memory but never developed it

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

Need an ark? I Noah guy

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus!

 

John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday night fever.

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself that's the last thing I need.

Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason, details are sketchy.

People are making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow.

Whatever you do, always give 100% unless you're donating blood

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?  Roamin' Catholic.

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Someday my prints will come.

A girl said she recognized me from her vegetarian club but I'd never met herbivore.

I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it.

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.

I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

 

Have a great week,

Al

 

 

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World News for 22 June thanks to Military Periscope

 

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