To All.
Well my son ended up safe in the middle east. The washer and dryer were .delivered and installed yesterday but the dryer did not work so the beat goes on.
Most of the students showed up to receive their new belts and certificates last night
.This is a bubba Breakfast Friday here in San Diego
Warm Regards,
skip
HAGD
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This day in Naval and Marine Corps History (thanks to NHHC)
Go here to see the director's corner for all 94 H-Grams
Here is a link to the NHHC website: https://www.history.navy.mil/
March 31, 2020
1854 Commodore Matthew C. Perry and Japanese officials sign the Treaty of Kanagawa, opening trade between the U.S. and Japan. The treaty also provided protection for American merchant seamen wrecked in Japanese waters.
1917 Rear Adm. James H. Oliver takes possession of the Danish West Indies for the United States, and they are renamed the U.S. Virgin Islands. He also becomes the first governor of the islands under American control.
1945 USS Morrison (DD 560) and USS Stockton (DD 646) sink the Japanese submarine I 8, 65 miles southeast of Okinawa.
1992 USS Missouri (BB-63), the last active American battleship, is decommissioned. Commissioned in June 1944, she served during World War II, notably for the location of the official Japanese surrender on Sept. 2, 1945. Today, the "Mighty Mo" is open for visitors in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, as the Battleship Missouri Memorial, under the care of the USS Missouri Memorial Association, Inc.
1993 Two 2 EP-3E aircraft, from Fleet Air Reconnaissance Squadron 2 (VQ-2), are on station over the Adriatic providing crucial support to the delivery of humanitarian air drops over eastern Bosnia-Herzegovina in Operation Provide Promise. This operation becomes the longest running humanitarian airlift in history at the time and operates from February 1993 to January 1996.
.This Day in Navy and Marine Corps History:
1801 - The second Commandant of the Marine Corps, Lieutenant Colonel William W. Burrows, rode with then-President Thomas Jefferson in search of, "a proper place to fix the Marine Barracks on." The two chose a square in Southeast Washington, at 8th and I streets, due to its proximity to the Navy Yard, as well as being within marching distance of the Capitol.
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Today in World History March 31
1282 The great massacre of the French in Sicily The Sicilian Vespers comes to an end.
1547 In France, Francis--king since 1515--dies and is succeeded by his son Henry II.
1776 Abigail Adams writes to husband John that women are "determined to foment a rebellion" if the new Declaration of Independence fails to guarantee their rights.
1779 Russia and Turkey sign a treaty by which they promise to take no military action in the Crimea.
1790 In Paris, France, Maximilien Robespierre is elected president of the Jacobin Club.
1836 The first monthly installment of The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens is published in London.
1862 Skirmishing between Rebels and Union forces takes place at Island 10 on the Mississippi River.
1880 The first electric street lights ever installed by a municipality are turned on in Wabash, Indiana.
1889 The Eiffel Tower in Paris officially opens on the Left Bank as part of the Exhibition of 1889
1916 General John Pershing and his army rout Pancho Villa's army in Mexico.
1917 The United States purchases the Virgin Islands from Denmark for $25 million.
1918 Daylight Savings Time goes into effect throughout the United States for the first time.
1921 Great Britain declares a state of emergency because of the thousands of coal miners on strike.
1933 To relieve rampant unemployment, Congress authorizes the Civilian Conservation Corps .
1939 Britain and France agree to support Poland if Germany threatens to invade.
1940 La Guardia airport in New York officially opens to the public.
1941 Germany begins a counter offensive in North Africa.
1945 The United States and Britain bar a Soviet supported provisional regime in Warsaw from entering the U.N. meeting in San Francisco.
1948 The Soviet Union begins controlling the Western trains headed toward Berlin.
1949 Winston Churchill declares that the A-bomb was the only thing that kept the Soviet Union from taking over Europe.
1954 The siege of Dien Bien Phu, the last French outpost in Vietnam, begins after the Viet Minh realize it cannot be taken by direct assault.
1960 The South African government declares a state of emergency after demonstrations lead to the deaths of more than 50 Africans.
1966 An estimated 200,000 anti-war demonstrators march in New York City.
1967 President Lyndon Johnson signs the Consular Treaty, the first bi-lateral pact with the Soviet Union since the Bolshevik Revolution.
1970 U.S. forces in Vietnam down a MIG-21, the first since September 1968.
1980 President Jimmy Carter deregulates the banking industry.
1991 Albania offers a multi-party election for the first time in 50 years
Thanks to Micro
To remind folks that these are from the Vietnam Air Losses site that Micro put together. You click on the url below and get what happened each day to the crew of the aircraft. ……Skip
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Thanks to Micro
From Vietnam Air Losses site for ..March 31 . .
March 31: https://www.vietnamairlosses.com/loss.php?id=103
This following work accounts for every fixed wing loss of the Vietnam War and you can use it to read more about the losses in The Bear's Daily account. Even better it allows you to add your updated information to the work to update for history…skip
Vietnam Air Losses
Access Chris Hobson and Dave Lovelady's work at: https://www.VietnamAirLosses.com.
This is a list of all Helicopter Pilots Who Died in the Vietnam War . Listed by last name and has other info https://www.vhpa.org/KIA/KIAINDEX.HTM
MOAA - Wall of Faces Now Includes Photos of All Service members Killed in the Vietnam War
The site works, find anyone you knew in "search" feature. https://www.vvmf.org/Wall-of-Faces/ )
By: Kipp Hanley
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. . Thanks to Ed
Not aviation stuff, but a funny bit of Navy history. And a good read.
On 11 June 1942 - The captain of the USS Skipjack, James W. Coe sends his now famous letter up the chain of command. This letter which addressed the problem of obtaining toilet paper by his ship had an example of the desired material attached as Enclosure (B)
It reads:
U.S.S. SKIPJACK
11 June, 1942
From: Commanding Officer
To: Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, California
Via: Commander Submarines, Southwest Pacific
Subject: Toilet Paper
Reference: (a) USS HOLLAND (5148) USS SKIPJACK Req. 70-42 of July 30, 1941.
(b) SO NYMI Canceled invoice No. 272836
Enclosure: (1) Copy of cancelled Invoice
(2) Sample of material requested.
1. This vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper on July 30, 1941, to USS HOLLAND. The material was ordered by HOLLAND from the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, for delivery to USS SKIPJACK.
2. The Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, on November 26, 1941, cancelled Mare Island Invoice No. 272836 with the stamped notation "Cancelled---cannot identify." This cancelled invoice was received by SKIPJACK on June 10, 1942.
3. During the 11-1/2 months elapsing from the time of ordering the toilet paper and the present date the SKIPJACK personnel, despite their best efforts to await delivery of subject material, have been unable to wait on numerous occasions, and the situation is now quite acute, especially during depth charge attack by the "back-stabbers."
4. Enclosure (2) is a sample of the desired material provided for the information of the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island. The Commanding Officer, USS SKIPJACK cannot help but wonder what is being used in Mare Island in place of this unidentifiable material, once well known to this command.
5. SKIPJACK personnel during this period have become accustomed to use of "ersatz," the vast amount of incoming non-essential paper work , and in so doing felt that the wish of the Bureau of Ships for the "reduction of paper work" is being complied with thus effectively "killing two birds with one stone".
6. It is believed by this Command that the stamped notation "cannot identify" was possible an error, and that this is simply a case of shortage of strategic war material, the SKIPJACK probably being low on the priority list.
7. In order to cooperate in war effort at small local sacrifice, the SKIPJACK desires no further action be taken until the end of the current war which has created a situation aptly described as "war is hell."
J.W. Coe
Here is the rest of the story:
The letter was given to the Yeoman, telling him to type it up. Once typed and upon reflection, the Yeoman went looking for help in the form of the XO. The XO shared it with the OD and they proceeded to the CO's cabin and asked if he really wanted it sent. His reply, "I wrote it, didn't I?"
As a side note, twelve days later, on June 22, 1942 J.W. Coe was awarded the Navy Cross for his actions on the S-39.
The "toilet paper" letter reached Mare Island Supply Depot. A member of that office remembers that all officers in the Supply Department "had to stand at attention for three days because of that letter." By then, the letter had been copied and was spreading throughout the fleet and even to the President's son who was aboard the USS Wasp.
As the boat came in from her next patrol, Jim and crew saw toilet-paper streamers blowing from the lights along the pier and pyramids of toilet paper stacked seven feet high on the dock. Two men were carrying a long dowel with toilet paper rolls on it with yards of paper streaming behind them as a band played coming up after the roll holders. Band members wore toilet paper neckties in place of their Navy neckerchiefs. The wind-section had toilet paper pushed up inside their instruments and when they blew, white streamers unfurled from trumpets and horns.
As was the custom for returning boats to be greeted at the pier with cases of fresh fruit/veggies and ice cream, the Skipjack was first greeted thereafter with her own distinctive tribute-cartons and cartons of toilet paper.
This letter became famous in submarine history books and found its way to the movie ("Operation Petticoat"), and eventually coming to rest (copy) at the Navy Supply School at Pensacola, Florida. There, it still hangs on the wall under a banner that reads, "Don't let this happen to you!" Even John Roosevelt insured his father got a copy of the letter.
The original is at Bowfin Museum in Hawaii.
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Thanks to Al
. 6 of 3,866
Monday Morning Humor--April Fools' Day
Inbox
Al Krause
5:56 AM (2 hours ago)
to bcc: me
FACT: Babies born on March 31 are the easiest to prank on April Fools' Day. They were literally born yesterday!
On April 1, 2002, a couple of Kansas City DJs announced the local water supply had been found to contain high levels of "dihydrogen monoxide" (DHMO), whose side effects included sweating, urination and skin-pruning. Hundreds of citizens flooded the water department and the police with distressed phone calls. Too bad dihydrogen monoxide is actually H2O—the chemical name for water. The DJs were widely criticized, and one government official even accused them of "terrorism."
In 2013, two Florida DJs pulled the same prank. The resulting clamor got the DJs yanked off the air and nearly saddled with felony charges.
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April Fools' Day pranks from around the world:
· In France: According to Le Parisien, in 1986, the Eiffel Tower was going to be dismantled and rebuilt inside the new Euro Disney park.
· In Denmark: In 1965, a Copenhagen newspaper reported that Parliament had passed a law that all dogs be painted white to improve road safety because they could then be seen clearly at night.
· In Norway: In 1987, after reading that the government was planning to distribute 10,000 litres of wine confiscated from smugglers, hundreds of citizens turned up carrying empty bottles and buckets.
· In China: Claiming that it would reduce the need for foreign experts, the China Youth Daily joked in 1993 that the government had decided to exempt PhDs from the nation's one-child-per-family policy. After foreign press picked up the hoax, the government condemned April Fools' Day as a Western tradition.
· In Great Britain: In 1980, those serial pranksters at the BBC announced that Big Ben, London's historic clock tower, would undergo a face-lift and become digital to keep up with the times. Enraged callers flooded the station with complaints.
· In Canada: In 2008, WestJet airlines advertised its overhead cabin bins as "among the most spacious of any airline" and said it would charge passengers an extra $12 to use these "sleeper cabins."
· In Taiwan: In 2009, the Taipei Times claimed that "Taiwan-China relations were dealt a severe setback yesterday when it was found that the Taipei Zoo's pandas are not what they seem." The paper reported that the pandas, a gift from the Chinese government, were brown forest bears dyed to resemble pandas. Among the complaints sent to the paper was one from the zoo's director.
· In Germany: In 2009, BMW ran an ad promoting its new "magnetic tow technology." The invention enabled drivers to turn off their engine and get a "free ride" by locking onto the car ahead via a magnetic beam.
Some pranks for tomorrow:
· Add a few drops of food coloring to the milk or juice carton... and watch their surprise when they pour out the liquid! Bonus: This doesn't harm the drink, so no groceries are wasted.
· Paint a dry bar of soap with clear nail polish and place it back at the shower or sink. That way, it won't suds up when it gets wet... much to the confusion of the unsuspecting bather.
· Place a few drops of food coloring inside the faucet aerator. When someone turns on the sink, colored water will start to flow. It's a harmless but hilarious way to make someone think their plumbing is haunted... or just blow their mind for a minute.
· Place a small piece of clear tape over the bottom sensor of someone's computer mouse. When they try to use it, the cursor won't move no matter how much they shake, tap, swipe, check the batteries, and even restart their computer.
· This prank takes the "control" out of remote control: Use a teeny sticker or tape to cover over the sensor on the clicker. No matter how hard they try, they won't be able to make those TV channels budge … even with new batteries.
· All you need for this gag is a few strategically placed fake insects — or, you can even cut them out of paper. Stick them to the inside of a lamp, and when your target flips the switch — yikes! They'll discover some very suspicious silhouettes inside the shade.
· Affix a party popper — yes, the kind of dollar store item you can buy for New Year's Eve — to the jam of a closed door, with the string stretched across the door. So when someone turns the knob to cross the threshold, they'll find themselves surprised by a loud noise and a mini explosion of confetti.
· Take some time to wrap one of their most essential objects — like the remote control or their smartphone — with layers upon layers of rubber bands. Then watch them try to remain patient long enough to free it.
· What's more frustrating than spinning the toilet paper roll endlessly in search of the end? Make that exercise even harder by spraying down the loose edge of the toilet paper roll with a bit of hairspray — they can roll and roll, but won't get the loose edge free before they lose their cool
10 Things You Might Not Know About April Fools' Day
We're just a few days from April 1, a notorious time for hoaxes. You might not have trusted these ten facts if they were printed on April Fools' Day, but all are true. Really. No kidding..
· The origin of April Fools' Day may be lost to history. One theory centers on people confused by the transition to the Gregorian calendar, but even before that time, there were April Fools'-like hoaxes. In 1983, Boston University professor Joseph Boskin said the practice began when court jesters and fools told the Roman emperor Constantine that they could do a better job than he does, and Constantine made one of them king for a day. Many newspapers picked up Boskin's story — which was an April Fools' Day joke.
· Ranked by the Museum of Hoaxes as the best April Fools' prank ever was a 1957 BBC report about Switzerland experiencing an early spaghetti harvest. The television show included video of peasants pulling spaghetti from trees and explained that a uniform length for the spaghetti had been achieved through expert cultivation. The BBC got hundreds of phone calls, with most callers asking serious questions, such as where could they buy spaghetti trees.
· Oh, those Brits. Astronomer Patrick Moore told BBC Radio 2 on April 1, 1976, that the alignment of the planets Pluto and Jupiter would cause a temporary decrease in Earth's gravity at 9:47 a.m. If people jumped in the air at that time, Moore said, they would float for a short while. Indeed, many listeners called the station to say they had floated.
· Most people know they need to read the Web with a healthy skepticism, but that doesn't mean hoaxes about the Internet don't catch the unwary. In 1994, PC Computing magazine wrote that Congress was considering a bill making it illegal to surf the Internet while drunk. The outcry was great enough that Sen. Edward Kennedy was forced to deny being the sponsor of the nonexistent legislation. In 1996, an e-mail, purportedly from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, informed people that the Internet would be shut down for a day for spring cleaning. The day that users were told to disconnect computers? April 1.
· In 1997, newspaper readers found chaos on the comic pages. Billy from "Family Circus" was joking with Dilbert. The "Family Circus" mom sported a Dilbert boss-like pointy hairdo. What was going on? The Great Comic Switcheroo. Urged on by "Baby Blues" creators Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, more than 40 cartoonists swapped strips for the day. Among the other switches: Blondie and Garfield, and Shoe and Beetle Bailey.
· Chicago's WXRT-FM 93.1 has a history of April Fools' hoaxes going back to the 1970s. In 1980, the station promoted the Mayor Jane Byrne April Fool Fest on Navy Pier. On a warm spring day, hundreds of people showed up at what was then a rather derelict padlocked Navy Pier to hear live music, despite the fact that some of the promised artists were dead. In 1998, the station announced it had been purchased by Playboy, was changing the call letters to XXXRT and was touting itself as True Adult Radio. Outraged listeners not only bombarded the station with calls, but also Playboy.
· Chicago's downtown streets devolved into gantlets of tomfoolery in the 1880s and 1890s when armies of newsboys gathered to harass and taunt passers-by. In 1880, the Tribune reported that one ingenious youngster created a wooden apparatus that chalked the words "April Fool" when tapped lightly on a victim's back.
· Australian businessman Dick Smith had long discussed his plans to tow an iceberg from Antarctica into Sydney Harbor so he could sell especially pure ice cubes to the public for 10 cents apiece. So when a barge towed a huge white object into the harbor on April 1, 1978, Sydney residents got excited. But then it rained, which dissolved the faux berg — a giant mound of firefighting foam and shaving cream that had been piled on sheets of white plastic.
· On April 1, 1998, Burger King took out a full-page ad in USA Today to announce a fast-food breakthrough: the Left-handed Whopper. It featured the same ingredients as the regular Whopper, except the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. According to Burger King, thousands of customers requested the new burger, and others asked for a right-handed version.
· Among the true things that have happened in April 1: The first speaker of the House was elected (1789); American forces landed on Okinawa (1945); the first U.S. weather satellite was launched (1960); and Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs founded Apple (1976). Born on April 1, 1929, were Czech author Milan Kundera ("The Unbearable Lightness of Being") and University of Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler ("The Unbearable Heaviness of Losing to Ohio State").
Have a great week and be wary of pranks from your friends or family on Tuesday, March 25, 2025
Al
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. Another from the archives
COVID GRONERS
Thanks to Bart
Subject: Some good ones
I'd give credit to the authors of these gems, but in most cases it's virtually impossible to pin down who first laid fingers on keyboard.
So, in no particular order, away we go...
"We are about three weeks away from knowing everyone's true hair color."
"Apparently, this year is being written by Stephen King."
"You might as well go ahead and pronounce the 'L' in 'salmon.' Nothing matters anymore."
"Day 2 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch. Apparently she's my wife Seems nice."
"Like a good neighbor, stay over there."
"If you self-quarantine for your family's safety, please be smart. I cannot afford to go to 15 baby showers in December."
"Actually, it's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France; otherwise it's just sparkling isolation."
"I'd hate to see a diarrhea virus break out right now. People would buy up all the nasal spray."
On a photo of empty store shelves: "Y'all have Walmart looking like the Cleveland Browns' trophy case."
Atop a drawing of Keith Richards holding a cigarette: "Corona virus barometer. If he goes, we all go."
With a photo of a guy wearing a medical mask and looking out a window: "Day 6 of no sports. Watching birds fight over worms. Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1."
Over a photo of a guy wearing a plain white T-shirt: "2020 NCAA Champions Shirts, $19.95."
Above a photo of a hand with words written all over the palm in ink: "I washed my hands so much that my exam notes from 1995 resurfaced."
"Back in the day, there was so much toilet paper that people used to literally string it up in the trees of their enemies."
"Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly .. next week, turn signals."
"You know that stash of fast-food napkins in your glovebox? It's their turn to shine."
Over a photo of Rod Serling: "Imagine no restaurants, bars, concerts or sports. You just entered The Twilight Zone."
Keep smiling. This, too, shall pass.
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A good one from the List archives
Thanks to Dr. Rich
Thanks to Karen ….
Whimsically, the 50s - a read filled with memories of olde ...
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.
We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..
We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.
And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.
T-Birds came with portholes and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.
And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill
And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.
So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.
If you didn't grow up in the fifties,
You missed the greatest time in history.
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Another one from the archives
NEEDED HUMOR FOR ALL OF US
Thanks to Craig S. ….and Dr. Rich
'INTERESTING' FIRST DATE ...
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte !! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment..... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
If you laughed at this pass it on. Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, then you are just a sour old fart.
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This Day in U S Military History
March 31
1945 – A defecting German pilot delivers a Messerschmitt Me 262A-1, the world's first operational jet-powered fighter aircraft, to the Americans, the first to fall into Allied hands.
1970 – Explorer 1, the first US satellite, launched in 1958, re-enters the Earth's atmosphere after 12 years in orbit.
1972 – After firing more than 5,000 rockets, artillery, and mortar shells on 12 South Vietnamese positions just below the Demilitarized Zone, the North Vietnamese Army launches ground assaults against South Vietnamese positions in Quang Tri Province. The attacks were thrown back, with 87 North Vietnamese killed. South Vietnamese fire bases Fuller, Mai Loc, Holcomb, Pioneer, and two smaller bases near the Demilitarized Zone were abandoned as the North Vietnamese pushed the defenders back toward their rear bases. At the same time, attacks against three bases west of Saigon forced the South Vietnamese to abandon six outposts along the Cambodian border. These were a continuation of the opening attacks of the North Vietnamese Nguyen Hue Offensive, a major coordinated communist offensive initiated on March 30. Committing almost their entire army to the offensive, the North Vietnamese launched a massive three-pronged attack. In the initial attack, four North Vietnamese divisions attacked directly across the Demilitarized Zone into Quang Tri province. Following the assault in Quang Tri province, the North Vietnamese launched two more major attacks: at An Loc in Binh Long Province, 60 miles north of Saigon, and at Kontum in the Central Highlands. With the three attacks, the North Vietnamese had committed 500 tanks and 150,000 regular troops (as well as thousands of Viet Cong) supported by heavy rocket and artillery fire. After initial successes, especially against the newly formed South Vietnamese 3rd Division in Quang Tri, the North Vietnamese attack was stopped cold by the combination of defending South Vietnamese divisions (along with their U.S. advisers) and massive American airpower. Estimates placed the North Vietnamese losses at more than 100,000 and at least one-half of their tanks and large caliber artillery.
1992 – USS Missouri (BB-63), the last active American battleship is decommissioned. USS Missouri (BB-63) ("Mighty Mo" or "Big Mo") is a United States Navy Iowa-class battleship and was the third ship of the U.S. Navy to be named in honor of the US state of Missouri. Missouri was the last battleship commissioned by the United States and was the site of the surrender of the Empire of Japan which ended World War II. Missouri was ordered in 1940 and commissioned in June 1944. In the Pacific Theater of World War II she fought in the battles of Iwo Jima and Okinawa and shelled the Japanese home islands, and she fought in the Korean War from 1950 to 1953. She was decommissioned in 1955 into the United States Navy reserve fleets (the "Mothball Fleet"), but reactivated and modernized in 1984 as part of the 600-ship Navy plan, and provided fire support during Operation Desert Storm in January/February 1991. Missouri received a total of 11 battle stars for service in World War II, Korea, and the Persian Gulf, and was finally decommissioned on 31 March 1992, but remained on the Naval Vessel Register until her name was struck in January 1995. In 1998, she was donated to the USS Missouri Memorial Association and became a museum ship at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.
2003 – In the 13th day of Operation Iraqi Freedom US-led troops fought pitched battles with Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard within 50 miles of the capital. B-1, B-2 and B-52 bombers struck communication and command centers in Baghdad, and cruise missiles set Iraq's Information Ministry ablaze. Casualties from the war to date US total: 40 dead, 7 captured, 18 missing; British total: 25 dead. Of 8,000 precision bombs dropped since the war began, 3,000 fell in the last 3 days. Port operations at Umm Qasr looked to be delayed for weeks.
Medal of Honor Citations for Actions Taken This Day
BOEHM, PETER M.
Rank and organization: Second Lieutenant, Company K, 15th New York Cavalry. Place and date: At Dinwiddie Courthouse, Va., 31 March 1865. Entered service at: Brooklyn, N.Y. Birth: New York. Date of issue: 15 December 1898. Citation: While acting as aide to General Custer, took a flag from the hands of color bearer, rode in front of a line that was being driven back and, under a heavy fire, rallied the men, re-formed the line, and repulsed the charge.
HOOPER, WILLIAM B.
Rank and organization: Corporal, Company L, 1st New Jersey Cavalry. Place and date: At Chamberlains Creek, Va., 31 March 1865. Entered service at:——. Birth: Willimantic, Conn. Date of issue: 3 July 1865. Citation: With the assistance of a comrade, headed off the advance of the enemy, shooting two of his color bearers; also posted himself between the enemy and the led horses of his own command, thus saving the herd from capture.
KING, HORATIO C.
Rank and organization: Major and Quartermaster, U.S. Volunteers. Place and date: Near Dinwiddie Courthouse, Va., 31 March 1865. Entered service at: Brooklyn, N.Y. Born: 22 December 1837, Portland, Maine. Date of issue: 23 September 1897. Citation: While serving as a volunteer aide, carried orders to the reserve brigade and participated with it in the charge which repulsed the enemy.
LUTES, FRANKLIN W.
Rank and organization: Corporal, Company D, 111th New York Infantry. Place and date: At Petersburg, Va., 31 March 1865. Entered service at: ——. Birth: Oneida County, N.Y. Date of issue: 3 April 1865. Citation: Capture of flag of 41st Alabama Infantry (C.S.A.), together with the color bearer and one of the color guard.
SICKLES, WILLIAM H.
Rank and organization: Sergeant, Company B, 7th Wisconsin Infantry. Place and date: At Gravelly Run, Va., 31 March 1865. Entered service at: Columbia County, Wis. Birth: Danube, N.Y. Date of issue: Unknown. Citation: With a comrade, attempted capture of a stand of Confederate colors and detachment of 9 Confederates, actually taking prisoner 3 members of the detachment, dispersing the remainder, and recapturing a Union officer who was a prisoner in hands of the detachment.
WILSON, JOHN
Rank and organization: Sergeant, Company L, 1st New Jersey Cavalry. Place and date: At Chamberlains Creek, Va., 31 March 1865. Entered service at: Jersey City, N.J. Birth: England. Date of issue: 3 July 1865. Citation: With the assistance of one comrade, headed off the advance of the enemy, shooting 2 of his color bearers; also posted himself between the enemy and the lead horses of his own command, thus saving the herd from capture.
STOKES, JOHN
Rank and organization: Chief Master-at-Arms, U.S. Navy. Born: 12 June 1871, New York, N.Y. Accredited to: New York. G.O. No.: 525 29 July 1899. Citation: On board the U.S.S. New York off the coast of Jamaica, 31 March 1899. Showing gallant conduct, Stokes jumped overboard and assisted in the rescue of Peter Mahoney, watertender, U.S. Navy.
CAHEY, THOMAS
Rank and organization: Seaman, U.S. Navy. Born: 13 April 1870, Bellfast, Ireland. Accredited to: New York. G.O. No.: 85, 22 March 1902. Citation: On board the U.S.S. Petrel for heroism and gallantry, fearlessly exposing his own life to danger in saving others on the occasion of the flre on board that vessel, 31 March 1901.
GIRANDY, ALPHONSE
Rank and organization: Seaman, U.S. Navy. Born: 21 January 1868, Guadaloupe, West Indies. Accredited to: Pennsylvania. G.O. No.: 85, 22 March 1902. Citation: Serving on board the U.S.S. Petrel, for heroism and gallantry, fearlessly exposing his own life to danger for the saving of others, on the occasion of the fire on board that vessel, 31 March 1901.
PFEIFER, LOUIS FRED
Rank and organization: Private, U.S. Marine Corps. (Served as Theis, Louis F., during first enlistment.) Born: 19 June 1876, Philadelphia, Pa. Accredited to: New Jersey. G.O. No.: 85, 22 March 1902. Citation: Serving on board the U.S.S. Petrel; for heroism and gallantry, fearlessly exposing his own life to danger for the saving of the others on the occasion of the fire on board that vessel, 31 March 1901.
THACKER, BRIAN MILES
Rank and organization: First Lieutenant, U.S. Army, Battery A, 1st Battalion, 92d Artillery. Place and date: Kontum Province, Republic of Vietnam, 31 March 1971. Entered service at: Salt Lake City, Utah. Born: 25 April 1945, Columbus, Ohio. Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. 1st Lt. Thacker, Field Artillery, Battery A, distinguished himself while serving as the team leader of an Integrated Observation System collocated with elements of 2 Army of the Republic of Vietnam units at Fire Base 6. A numerically superior North Vietnamese Army force launched a well-planned, dawn attack on the small, isolated, hilltop fire base. Employing rockets, grenades, flame-throwers, and automatic weapons, the enemy forces penetrated the perimeter defenses and engaged the defenders in hand-to-hand combat. Throughout the morning and early afternoon, 1st Lt. Thacker rallied and encouraged the U.S. and Republic of Vietnam soldiers in heroic efforts to repulse the enemy. He occupied a dangerously exposed observation position for a period of 4 hours while directing friendly air strikes and artillery fire against the assaulting enemy forces. His personal bravery and inspired leadership enabled the outnumbered friendly forces to inflict a maximum of casualties on the attacking enemy forces and prevented the base from being overrun. By late afternoon, the situation had become untenable. 1st Lt. Thacker organized and directed the withdrawal of the remaining friendly forces. With complete disregard for his personal safety, he remained inside the perimeter alone to provide covering fire with his M-16 rifle until all other friendly forces had escaped from the besieged fire base. Then, in an act of supreme courage, he called for friendly artillery fire on his own position to allow his comrades more time to withdraw safely from the area and, at the same time, inflict even greater casualties on the enemy forces. Although wounded and unable to escape from the area himself, he successfully eluded the enemy forces for 8 days until friendly forces regained control of the fire base. The extraordinary courage and selflessness displayed by 1st Lt. Thacker were an inspiration to his comrades and are in the highest traditions of the military service.
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AMERICAN AEROSPACE EVENTS for March 31, FIRSTS, LASTS, AND SIGNIFICANT ACCOMPLISHMENTS. THANKS TO HAROLD "PHIL" MYERS CHIEF HISTORIAN AIR FORCE INTELLIGENCE, SURVEILLANCE, AND RECONNAISSANCE AGENCY
31 March
1909: Amherst College, Mass., put its name in 35-foot high white letters. This effort produced the first air marking on record. (24)
1913: On a nonstop cross-country flight from San Antonio to Texas City, Lt William C. Sherman, made the first Army aerial map from a plane. He rode as a passenger with Lt Thomas DeWitt Milling. (24)
1931: Planes from the USS Lexington, off Nicaragua, flew medical personnel, supplies, and provisions to the earthquake-wrecked city of Managua. (24)
1943: The North African Air Force used B-17s and Wellingtons against Decimomannu Airfield in Sardinia, Italy. (4)
1951: KOREAN WAR. The 3 ARS used the H-19 to retrieve 18 UN personnel from behind enemy lines, the first use of this type helicopter in a special operations mission. The 315 AD grounded its C-119s for modification and reconditioning. (28) The Navy issued a development contract to Convair for the XFY-1 propeller-driven vertical takeoff fighter. (5)
1952: KOREAN WAR. Through 1 April, FEAF Bomber Command B-29s flew 29 sorties, nearly twice the normal rate, mostly against the Sinhung-dong railbridge and Kwaksan railroad track. Additionally, the 315th Air Division maintained a steady stream of troops, supplies and ammunition between Japan and Korea, airlifting 17,603 tons of cargo, which included 90,021 troops, and 7,840 medical evacuees. Search and rescue units flew 442 sorties, and helicopters evacuated 140 critically wounded patients from forward areas and rescued two airmen from behind enemy lines. (28)
1954: Joe deBona set a transcontinental speed record for piston-engine planes, when he flew an F-51 Mustang 2,467 miles from Los Angeles to New York in 4 hours 24 minutes 17 seconds. (24)
1960: Through 30 April, in response to flooding in Brazil, MATS C-124s transported 30 tons of disaster relief equipment, medical supplies, life rafts, and 2 helicopters and crews there. The helicopters then carried 130 tons of relief supplies within Brazil. (18)
1961: SAC declared the 549 SMS operational at Offutt AFB to complete its Atlas D deployment.
1965: When SAC removed the last Atlas E from alert with the 567 SMS at Fairchild AFB, it phased this model out of the operational inventory. (6)
1966: SAC phased out its last B-47 Stratojet. (16) (26) There was one that I would see at NAS Miramar for a few years after that.
1967: SAC's responsibility for Atlas and Titan I missiles ended with the completion of the service and salvage program. (6)
1968: President Johnson halted the bombing missions north of the 20th parallel in North Vietnam and proposed peace talks. (8)
1970: Phase out of the last CGM-13 (MACE) missile completed. The Air Force stored the missiles at Davis-Monthan AFB, Ariz., for possible use as subsonic target drones. (16) (26) The 12 TFW's three squadrons of F-4Cs at Cam Ranh Bay, South Vietnam, inactivated, and the 12 TFW moved to Phu Cat AB, South Vietnam, to replace the inactivated 37 TFW. The F-4Cs returned to the US. (17) The Hawaii Army National Guard inactivated the 298th Artillery Group (Nike) under a nationwide reduction in air defense assets. The retirement of the Nike-Hercules missiles reduced the air defense of Hawaii to the Hawaii ANG's 199 FIS with 18 old F-102A Delta Daggers. (17)
1975: The USAF's overseas tactical airlift resources in PACAF, USAFE, and the Alaskan Air Command were transferred to MAC to consolidate military airlift into one command. (2)
1979: THREE-MILE ISLAND DISASTER. Through 15 April, after the Three-Mile Island nuclear power plant failed near Harrisburg, Pa., MAC flew 15 support missions (two C-5s, one C-130, and 12 C-141s). The aircraft delivered a 40,000-pound rawindsonde station, lead bricks and shielding, a water filtration unit, charcoal filters, and potassium iodine for the cleanup. Later, the aircraft flew out barrels of contaminated water. (2) (18) President Carter decided to develop the M-X in an undisclosed ground mobile basing mode. (6) The Defense System Acquisition Review Council IIB reviewed airmobile basing for the M-X and concluded that this mode was feasible. The council, however, decided that airmobile basing was not desirable because it depended on tactical warning, had less accuracy, and cost too much. (6) MACKAY TROPHY. Maj James E. McArdle, Jr., and his four-man H-3 helicopter crew saved 28 Taiwanese sailors in the Yellow Sea after their ship ran aground. For this event, McArdle earned the Mackay Trophy. (21)
1982: The USAF stationed the first of two SR-71 Blackbirds at RAF Mildenhall. (16)
1987: McDonnell-Douglas held a formal rollout ceremony for Low-Altitude Navigation & Targeting Infrared for Night (LANTIRN) equipped F-15s. (30)
1994: The first two F-16 Fighting Falcons from Ramstein AB arrived at Aviano AB. On 1 April, NATO named Aviano as one of its main operating bases for operations over the former Yugoslavia. (26)
1995: 2d Lt Kelly Flinn began training as the first woman bomber pilot in the USAF. (16) (26)
2005: AFFTC evaluated software for the T-38C's Block 4 Avionics Upgrade Program. The program made an effort to increase the T-38's combat training value as well as elevate all T-38A and AT-38B aircraft to T-38C configuration. (3)
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